Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Growing older, and the Pursuit of Happiness

I've often wondered the meaning of life .
Isn't it funny how when growing up, we want to be older then we are? I remember when I turned 4 yrs old, how old I felt. Then came the thrill of being 2 digits old, the big 10! Then a "teenager" at 13. 16, 19. I think all through my 20's I was more absorbed with raising small children(I had my 3rd at 27 yrs old).
I was appalled when I realized my 30th birthday was approaching. I would no longer be in my 20's! This was a hard time for me.
Shortly after turning 30, I left my childrens' father. I knew at this point there was something huge missing from my life. I wasn't having a life. I was existing with another person, who was probably as miserable as I was. I was strong enough to end it though.
A short few years later, I found myself in the same place. Another child, and a man who drove me insane. In fact a worse situation then before.
Now here I am, at 41 years old, ready once again to find not only the meaning of life, but to pursue my own happiness..
I cannot regret my life or choices, I've made, bad or good. I look at it as a learning experience.
What I've learned is this.
No other person can make you happy. It's up to yourself. Be happy in the choices you make for you. Live for YOU. All else will fall into place if you do this. Your children will be happier also.
I have a feeling the next 10 years will be great!

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